“Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interview…ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.
POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.
If u have compassion reblog this post. ‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.
REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.
THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.”
EVERYONE BOOT THE FUCK OUT OF THIS
This is so fucking unfortunate that we need this
it just makes me angry that women need this.. but we do and if you see this, PLEASE REBLOG. it doesn’t matter if you are a male or a female. by reblogging this, you might save someone’s life.
Don’t scroll past this, it’s so important
nothing to do with what my posts are normally about but this is SO damn important!! don’t scroll past without reading and / or reblogging!
this is fucking important. Idc if your blog is perfect, fucking reblog this. It may save someone.
Not what I reblog onto here normally but this is important.
NEVER NOT REBLOG THIS
Hi hello even if you are not a woman please reblog this.
Please please please reblog this
seriously take the time to read this fully through, even if you are busy it is so important and vital, please!!!
This can save a life.
Boost
You see someone eyeing someone suspiciously you tell the one they’re looking at
Stay safe!❤
every single one of you needs to read this and then reblog it. it can save a life.
Please read and reblog. I pray you never have to use it but better safe than sorry.
i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream
you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said “i have 5 kids”
I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said “I just don’t care”. We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again.
new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
Actual conversation I had at register:
“Hi, welcome to [Starbucks]! What can I get you, today?”
“How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?”
“I- I’m sorry?”
“A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?”
“Oh. uh. Well, it’d be I suppose… I only have a button for a Quad. I don’t have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single… drink.”
“Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many ‘add shots’ is that?”
*deep breath of fear* “It’d be a quad with,” *clears throat* “uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma’am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-”
“Taste means nothing to me.”
At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being.
“Oh. Well, okay.” I put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. “We can certainly get that for you! The price will be _____.”
She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it.
“Do you still have the ‘Add Energy’ packets?”
My heart began to race at this request. “Yes ma’am.”
“How many can I add?”
Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. “For health reasons, we won’t add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually.”
“One then.”
I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was … not something to be spoken aloud.
My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. “No.”
The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a commanding tone I expect of Admirals in bad movies, “Yes.”
My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Matrena’s of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring.
The barista was damn near shaking. This woman’s gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.
Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup.
Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that.
When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about “The Company” as if we’d never l, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus,
“Yeah, I had one like that.”
Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all these and more into a book.
Another advice for girls and young women: love and sex is supposed to be fun, happy and make your life better. If it’s not, if it’s making you miserable, if it’s making you love yourself less, if it’s making you doubt yourself, and if you feel like you have to sacrifice yourself or put up with things you don’t want to, you are absolutely entitled to throw it out from your life. In fact, you should, because your life is so, so valuable and you have the right to be happy. Being a girl does not mean having to accept misery and pain, even if that’s what we’re often taught. You are allowed to decide what comes into your life. Let it be happy and beautiful.
no offense but male protagonists whose strength comes from empathy, compassion and humanity will always be more interesting than snarky assholes who punch everything and treat everyone around them like shit
if you see someone being interrupted in a conversation, acknowledge them, don’t let them be pushed to the side. if you see someone lagging behind, walk beside them. if someone is being ignored, take the step to include them. always remind people of their worth. it hurts when it feels like you’re being forgotten. that small gesture can mean a lot.
“Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful — you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.”
I’m known at school for being the girl with fly swatters holstered to my backpack at all times. I just can’t stand flies and I’m really good at killing them. My teachers even call me out of class sometimes to kill flies in their classrooms
People always ask me how I keep my nails so clean and why they’re so nicely shaped. Truth is I just grow them out because I’m lazy and I like to keep them extra clean just.
My Mom accidently locked me in the car with her keys when I was 2. She asked me to pull up the lock knob on the door to which I pointed and laughed at her calling her stupid. When she came back with help, I pulled up the knob. 😎
My biggest fear is that I’ll never fall in (true) love or have the family I never got to have. Being close to 30 makes me realize how I’ve completely wasted my twenties being a couch potato. I never go out and meet guys but want a boyfriend lolol
One of my greatest achievements/miracles when i was in elementary school was my parents not finding out i got sent to the principal’s office for brawling another boy dbz-style for picking a fight with my vegeta-grade a-hole crush 🤣🤣🙏🏼
@sarahw-world @wordsoffey @rutbisbe
I can’t tell time on a hand clock right off. It takes me a ridiculous amount of time to find the long and short hand, then do the math to figure out what time it is. Thank God for digital!
I had Bariatric surgery two years ago, which helped me lose about 100lbs of my body weight. Because of this, I literally cannot eat more than two tablespoons of food at any time. 😅
uh…..Im afraid of static electricity > _>; I will go out my way to make sure everyone in my household has fabrics that will not cause that. 😂 If someone I know comes near me and wants to hug me or shake hands I’ll hold on to something so they don’t shock me. Anything metal I will panic and I have to hype my self up that ima get shocked and slap the thing really fast to get it out of the way. When I get into my car I will touch my car with the metal part of the key fob before touching the handle…( I only do this during winter time)
I always laugh at myself. Like, every morning, I make funny faces in the mirror just for the fun of it. When i think about “serious” thing about myself, i made shitty jokes. When I’m working on really serious stuff, I’m dancing and laughing at whatever i’m doing. Oh yeah, I take myself really seriously.
I have this really bad habit of laughing at every little thing people say or do. 95% it’s not even funny but for some reason I just laugh instead of saying something. It started when I was in 6th grade and I thought I would eventually stop but now I’m a senior in highschool and I’m still doing it. Lol I really wish I would stop. 99% of my school day consists of my laughing fake laughs. The only time I don’t do it is when I’m with my family, and that’s because they make me genuinely laugh. I think it’s some sort of defense mechanism. And me typing lol to everything is my way to compensate for not being able to fake laugh online lol
I sometimes talk so fast that some people find it hard to understand what I’m saying then I forget that I am talking fast (because I know what I am saying) and they look at me confused, then I’m have to repeat myself, accidentally making an awkward situation when I could just learn to talk slower and try to laugh it off and it was a joke.
I have all my books sorted by size just like my folded clothing, having a book or piece of clothing stand out REALLY makes me anxious, even though I’m not that much of an organized person.
I got a bunch of art supplies but frustration keeps me from using them anymore or better said much less than before. Also I attempted to delete my blog over 20 times in 3 years because I get frustrated easily.
When I was really little, like one or something, I took the hair clip from my hair and tried to eat it because I guess it looked liked candy to me. Also, we were on the way home from church. Anyway. The clip got stuck in my throat and I started to cough up blood. My mom, who is a nurse (thank God), saw this picked me up and told my dad to drive to the hospital. My mom, because of her profession, knew it was best if she held me upside down so that I wouldn’t choke on my own blood. So when we got to the hospital, my mom just came running in with me in her arms, being held upside down and spilling blood on the floor. She said that everyone split like the red sea. She told a nurse and they said I would go into surgery soon. Before the surgery, my mom took me to the bathroom and started to shake me in hope that it would come out. Eventually, it did. So I never had that surgery, but if I did, I bet I would have a really cool scar.
I bought a shitload of new books these past two months and I keep most of them on my desk, and some I transfer from desk to bed and vice versa when I’m going to bed, because I’m too lazy to clean out a space in my closet for the books.
I have two younger brothers who are almost the same age as me. We bicker and tease and annoy each other a lot, but I wouldn’t exchange them for anybody else.
I’m… SLIGHTLY obsessed with antique glass. One time I spent roughly $1,000 in a single month on expanding my collection. And by “expanding my collection” I mean spending hours combing the internet and buying every shiny thing that caught my eye. I managed to cut myself off before I spent my damn mortgage payment, but now my spare room is filled with boxes of lovingly bubble-wrapped random glass tableware. Cruets. Serving bowls. Salt shakers. A butter dish shaped like a bird. A spiky opalescent something that is too beautiful for this world. I have nowhere good to store it and no use for it but I still long for more. @aroeane@xoxtwistedtentaclesxox@whenas-in-silks
I’m really good at memorizing verse. When I want to time something but don’t have access to a clock, I’ll start running through a big fat Victorian poem in my head. “Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came” is the longest I know and it takes around fifteen minutes to get through; Tennyson’s “Ulysses” clocks in around five and “Lady of Shalott” is a bit under ten.
one of the most frustrating moods is Desperate Need to Create Something, Anything + persistent lack of motivation/attention/ability/time/inspiration/energy to do so
This is not a new topic for me, let alone the Internet. However, this is the first time I have written something to the internet world.
I was in my early 20’s, in a new relationship with my now S/O when 50 came out, and like many other young women. I grabbed a copy and wondered what is this about? Is this worth the hype?I thought, okay this bad but I’ve read worse.
A sinking feeling followed the rest of the story, strange feeling of something familiar that I tried not to think about. How much worse could this get? Hearing my friends and aunt were gushing about the romance. I saw something completely different. Then my aunt posted how they kept it classy, and considering they have a movie about children running around killing each other. Yes, she compared 50 to The hunger games. Books about oppression, and courage to rise above and fight for what is right. About a book about a man who is controlling, demanding and abusive to children being made to fight to the death until one survives.
I finished reading the books out of sheer morbid curiosity. Wanting to see just how bad it got. Sad I know. The thing that stood out the most and leads me to let the warning bell ring in my head was the whole you’re a virgin, I have to rectify this…No you don’t!
I was 23 when I finally decided to enter the realm of sex!
But that was my decision and I stuck with it. I just wanted to wait until what I felt was right for me. I told guys plain and straight up, that until I decide if I like you enough, don’t get overexcited. One ran, and the other was a bit too much Christian.
I remember well enough me telling him.
‘Fine…I’m leaving don’t call me’ and I left the movie theatre before the movie even started after he asked me to flash him when we out on the overlook of rocks behind the theatre.
He called me three months later, saying he was from my bank. I never called back…
I spoke little of my own history with abuse, in a previous post. I am a victim, and still healing from it every day. Knowing the man who abused me and brainwashed my mother into believing it was all fun and games so I lost the one person who could have protected me.
I often downplay it at times, saying it was never the worse case scenario but sometimes I look back and wonder if I didn’t fight him as much as I could, would he have actually raped me? What if I didn’t change quickly enough after my shower and he barged into my room? What if he came in my room as I watching tv on Saturday morning in my nightshirt and nothing else and came and laid on my bed, trying to dig his hands underneath the covers so he could grab my ass. The reality was I couldn’t even sit on the couch without him laying all over me. No man should ask his girlfriends daughter to model her underwear, and no 16-year-old should ever think they feel a grown man’s erection.
It took me a long time to see the sick cycle I lived through because every time I fought him. I was the one in the wrong. I was wrong for telling him no. That I had to apologize for acting out and being a drama queen. I stopped eating and lost 50 pounds over one summer. I remember just staring at knives because I felt like I wanted to die because I couldn’t comprehend how wrong it was because my mother found nothing wrong with his behaviour I begged her to tell him to stop.
I was so starved for any sort of love or attention from her, apologizing was the only way make her notice me. I spent four years in a house with my own abuser. In a constant cycle of guilt fuelled by him.
I got out, but some aren’t so lucky.
So if Fifty taught me anything good it was to recognize just how an abuser controls the victim and made reevaluate a lot more memories and understand and allow myself to admit a lot of things I would never have admitted to myself.
Painting abuse as romantic is deplorable and Fifty Shades is straight up painting that way.
Yet we devour it, immortalize it?
How is that possible?
How is possible that in a society where, #METOO and rape culture are talked about from the rooftops and brought forward and into the light as we try to make a better future for our young girls, daughters, mothers and friends? But yet this book still making money?
He’s abusive, cruel and controlling, he is not boyfriend material. He is the man you mother warned you about, but yet a whole generation is young girls who are essentially being taught that if he has enough money, or good looks it’s all right to be treated like a possession?
How does this book in the hands of a young girl, show a healthy relationship? It doesn’t.
How will a young woman know the difference between a little(or a lot of) Kink and straight up abuse? There is a huge difference in liking a little pain and having consensual playtime, then what is written in those books.
How will young women know about consent and that it is perfectly all right to say no, at any age and any time of their life?
How will young women know the difference between sweet gestures and downright creepy stalking? That concern for your well being doesn’t include knowing your exact location at all times?
How will young women know? They won’t because they will have been shown a fictional reality where abuse, consent issues and stalking is romantic.
To my stepdaughter how I hope will never ever reads these books, and I know for a fact that her mother found them ‘hot’. Please just don’t, I know your still young, but one day you’ll come across them and please just don’t.
To the young women have enough moral standards to see beyond and see the horrid examples these books have given us. I hope more are like you in the next generation of young women who will look at this book and say no thank you. I will not be a victim to book that displays such a horrid relationship.
To the women much like myself. You are strong. You are beautiful. They can never beat us if we stand up together.
